Saturday, February 2, 2013

No singularity here

S T R E S S

Something that escapes no one. Not even our children. Stress is always something that can be managed better, by everyone.
Managing stress while living with Bipolar is challenging at best. Managing stress while living with Borderline Personality Disorder is even a step above, or is that below? People with BPD already tend to have a reduced tolerance to stress. The presence of BPD has been known to increase the symptoms of other co-occurring diseases/disorders. And guess what else increases the symptoms of all other diseases/disorders??

Yepper do! You guessed it!

Stress!

And let's talk about overwhelmed right now!!!

I've been having a rough week or so thanks to the inter-connectedness of all of the above ridiculousness. My little immediate family of 3 is at the lowest point we've ever been.
I feel like the actual picture in your mind's eye of the camel's back just before that miniscule golden straw makes its dire landing. It's that intense a fragility that plagues me. Even a shattered eggshell is stronger than I am lately. At any given moment, I feel near to collapsing into a pile of tears and slobbering gibberish.
Our finances are dire. Not strained, not barely break even, dire. Paying rent, as well as the other bills, has become more than a challenge this month. It became an un-possibility. (How ya likin' that one?!?) On our own that is. For the 1st time in my adult life I'm having to turn almost entirely to charity. Either that of strangers or of family and friends. I've been evaluating food banks and even the potential for homeless shelters in the case that we can't make rent.
Yes, it's that bad.
My MS stricken husband is working diligently at a job (5-7 days a week) that barely pays over minimum wage and goes to school 4 nights a week so that he can have an education with which to secure greater financial stability for us.
We, anxiously, await a determination from Social Security regarding SSDI (disability) and SSI (social security income) for me owing to my inability to work a job as a result of the Bipolar, Depression, and Anxiety. The last being possibly the most major player.

So there we are. A brief glimpse into the stresses that are wreaking absolute havoc on a war-torn mind.

Somebody please tell me, where's the party???

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