Monday, September 23, 2013

Conglomeration of Crap

And a fine evening to you! I hope that you're not feeling anywhere near as overwhelmed or clueless or helpless as I am. Every thought I can spare is sent your way with love and goodness because I desperately hope that not everyone is going through the mucky trenches that we are.
I'll warn you now; this is going to be a dump fest. I'm just going to throw it all out there in hopes that it will help me feel just a teeny bit of relief. I need to get it (it being the ridiculous load of wreckage I'm about to crumble under) out. The best way I can think of, which isn't saying much at the moment, is to lay it all out there, verbal vomit style.
Let the bitching commence!
Let's see, we're struggling financially. HA!!  We can't pay our bills, food stamps ended last month, Medicaid ends this month (for the Husband and I) which means there will probably be more medical debt getting added into the mix soon as my pacemaker is due for replacement in the near future. We're looking into bankruptcy to try to save us from certain doom.
My disability case is up to be scheduled with a judge but that could be anywhere from a month to eight from now. The last medical records that were sent in were said to be in my favor, but who the hell knows. (I told you about that huh?!)
The big kiddo has school issues all his own. He's been tested for both Special Education and Gifted/Talented (we find out the decisions on Oct. 10). He's had academic issues since Kindergarten and we've worked very very hard to help him be as successful as he's been but he needs more and I'm busting my butt to venture down every avenue to make sure we don't miss anything that might help him. He has severe ADHD and is almost as heavily medicated as I am but only because it works! There's a significant improvement with the medications. He has no learning disabilities. On the contrary, he tests Advanced or near Advanced in everything but writing. At the beginning of last year (4th grade) he was reading 156 words per minute and his comprehension matched it. He's incredibly intelligent but has other issues that we just haven't quite nailed down. A mild Asperger's is one thought we've had. He has no identified Sensory issues but I think there's something there. He also has anxiety, the poor sweet boy. My sweet loving boy is getting to be as big of a wreck as his crazy mama and he's only 10!
What else?!?
Oh yeah! My car died a couple weeks ago. Wooooooo! It's quite possibly an easy fix (I already replaced the fuel pump relay to no avail) but we just haven't the money for the cheap parts. So now instead of at least having four 20 year old doors and an actual back seat (even if littl'n had almost no leg room), we're stuck in an extended cab pick-up truck that's not in complete repair. The littl'n and her big car seat is in the passenger seat while the big kiddo sits in the little jump seats behind. That's also where my almost 6 foot 230lb. husband crams in anytime we have to go anywhere on the weekends because if I'm a passenger for very long I get car sick. Damn freakin' good thing that he just recently got a work van to commute with huh?!?!?!
I delved into the dismal world of my PTSD in the last post so we don't need to dig that dog up again...
I'm pretty sure there's more but my brain just isn't willing to cooperate any further.
I'm actually so stressed that I'm calm and barely even able to register it all. That's probably not good huh?? Eh. That's what meds are for!! Weeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!
Well, that's me out for the night. Until next time...

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